Listener Responses from China

Topic of the Month - Words from the Hearts of Seekers

Is there any hope for a miserable soul?

When I first knew you, I had a desire to pour out my worry to you. I was exhausted in searching my way out in the boundless darkness. When I first heard the gospel programs from your channel, I considered that I have found what I was seeking for. Since then, consolation and encouragement entered my life filled with anguish and sorrow. I thought, "Was it not a God-given chance which helped and led me out of the deep of my life?"

Many years ago, I chose to follow Christ's way. I hoped I could be a Christian some day. However, this eternal road of truth was full of difficulties and dangers. I was weak, insignificant, foolish and ignorant. I tumbled and got up for heaps of times. There was a dream in my heart that never died. I wrote to you today with a longing that you could point out a way for me.

My body was weak since childhood. I was an introverted, quiet, self-contemptuous person. I was weak in memory and reasoning. I worked harder than anyone else, but I could got only average result. I could only enter a college after I finished my senior secondary school. I majored in accountancy in the college. But I didn't have a sharp mind of an accountant. In my final year, pressure from all around me hit my nerve stretched to its limit. Unfortunately, I got mental disorder.

I went to every famous hospital to ask for curing. Though money was used and medicines were taken, I did not get any better. When I was in the darkest point of my life, my boy friend left me, and my best friend betrayed me. I was in great distress… I was like a bird with its wings broken. I did all I can to break the darkness. In endless sleepless nights, I prayed to God. I prayed for a pair of new and powerful wings that enabled me to fly freely in the sky.

I didn't know what do you know about mental disorder. When people heard of the term "mental disorder", their first reaction was that it was nauseous. In order to cure my sickness, I had no choice but stayed there for five months. I felt so miserable when I remembered that I had spent five months there.

There were few old patients who stayed there for most of their life. They never spoke, laughed or cried. They just sat there quietly, as if they didn't exist in this world. Maybe they had been as mad as a hatter, but at that time they just waited for the ending of their life to come. Oh God, can you tell me what power made them like that? Is it Satan's tricks? Was a life created by you only a repeated physical process? Is there any hope for a miserable soul like me?

(#2921 Shaanxi, response to "HLAZ Heartline" and "Walk in the Breeze")

I am inspired by your program

I am a host of a magazine-type radio program. I have listened to your program "Light a Lamp" every midnight for a long time. You taught people how to conduct themselves and guided them to do good. You told us about life and spread hope. I understood more about life after I listened to your program.

Inspired by your program, I launched a similar program in our channel. I want to get your help. Can you save part of the content of your programs broadcast in these six months to a disk and mail it to me? I will use those materials as a reference for our new program. Your love to do good will be spread to more people through our program. And just as your wish: every seed sowed to the world is love. Also, I want to get booklets given by your channel so that I can learn more about the spirit and the faith you talked.

(#3800 Hubei, response to "Light a Lamp")

There was no root in our hearts

I felt very good when I got your letter. I have already read the booklets sent to me. I could understand the content, which was rich. They were well written. For example, an article in "Whisper on the Waterside" was very good. Well, man should move forward following a correct direction. Fame, money, status are nothing but as transient as a fleeting cloud. A man came to this world with clutched hands, and left it with opened hands. How many things were really owned by him? How many things are necessary to life? If one does not receive Jesus Christ, will he not bring his gray head down to the grave in sorrow? The eternal beauty and goodness of the heaven are what should be seeking after.

In our village, life is very busy and hard. In spring, the farmers cover their bodies with oilpaper, wear a bamboo hat on their heads, and bend over to transplant rice in spite of the rain. During the rush in the harvest in summer, transplanting the late season rice is immediately following the reaping of the early season rice. In order to catch the time for late rice, they get up to work when it is still dark in the morning. During years of drought, they even work in midnight in order to rush to get water to save their fields. Sometimes, they intrigue against each other and even flight with each other in order to get water.

I have tried to show that I was willing to receive Jesus as my Savior and in fact I was. One time, my elder brother and I went to a church. After the Sunday service, we approached the pastor. He kindly asked us some questions and we got all the answers right. At the end, the pastor led us to pray…but there was no root in our hearts. The worries of this life, and the opposition of the family…

(#3074 Guangdong, response to "In Search of Life" and programs on KFBS)

I was an atheist

Since I tuned in to your program by accident, I fell in love with it. I really regretted not to have known you before. Knowing that there was a group of spiritual friends in this world like you, I felt warm. You were like a fountain of cool water flown into my lonely heart. Thanks a lot. Although I was an atheist, I have decided to believe in this great God under your inspiration and influence. I know He is the only one who can guide my life.

I am a university student in my third year. Since entering the university, I said to myself, "I have to begin to perfect myself, to mold myself, to improve myself continuously and to nurture good qualities in my life." Therefore, I started to read a lot of books regarding self-help. I decided to rely on them to help myself. Every word on those books was full of encouragement and power. I was encouraged and filled with passion. I followed the dos and don'ts instructions on the books. I even harshly forced myself to pursue for the highest standard. Well, I did change, I found. However, I found it really painstaking in the process. I felt that I was controlled by some consciousness and was forced to change. I lost the true self. I felt constrained and weary. People could hardly find any smile on my face. It was not true that I didn't like smiling. But the burden in my heart was too heavy that I didn't know how to smile. I realized that surpassing the self was a painstaking process. I was so agonized, especially the unbearable loneliness. Sometimes I would ask myself, "now that I am so unhappy, why do I still use the imposed consciousness to restrict myself so tightly? It is better for me to let myself go, to relax myself and to live at my pleasure." As a result, I decided not to challenge myself anymore. I had to live out my "self". Then I put away this "spiritual-guide" type of books and be myself with all my heart. At last, I easily got happiness and smile. Every day, I felt relaxed and happy.

On the surface, I was happy. In my heart, I knew that I was living under a muddleheaded "happiness" condition. My soul earnestly wanted to grow. I could not fool my soul. I wanted to go back to the previous life style but I did not dare. It seemed that I could not find the feelings anymore. I didn't understand why it was so painstaking to get progress. Maybe my limitations or my way of striving was accountable for it. I always felt that the road was too rough for me because I was not happy. Life should pursue its happiness. Then why did I do not choose to be happy? I didn't understand. I was in a conflict.

What do you think about my question? I hope that after I convert to God, He can really help me. I look forward to receiving your reply… Could you send me a Bible? I want to read it.

(#3261 Hubei, response to "Walk in the Breeze)

Believers really need to root in the faith

Christian churches here were seriously disturbed by heresies. Believers really need to root in the faith. One of the sects was very active. Its characteristics were, (1) acting in secret; (2) speaking in tongues. A believer would speak in tongues whenever they lay their hands on him. Almost all of their believers can speak in tongues, but nobody interpreted them. (3) Seeking to be filled with the Holy Spirit. When they were filled with the Holy Spirit, some would cry while others would laugh at the same time. (4) Some would be stroke down by the Holy Spirit like blowing down by wind. They also organized training classes secretly.

At present, we have to decide whether we should organize a short term training class. In our county there are two elders who are over 80 years old, one seminary student and more than 40 churches. Pastors and clergy are in great shortage. Theological training is imperative. Under present situation, I can only equip myself through listening to gospel broadcast. Thanks God for giving me the opportunity to learn and to serve the church. Our church has been built for about 14 years and 5-6 branches were planted. These were the work of God. We are useless servants and weak vessels. The quality of the pastorate is low and needs training.

(#9239 Shandong, response to "Voice of Friendship Seminary")

I can now tell what heresies and extremes are

I have received the book on "Heresies Disturbing China". I am reading it and find that it very good. I can now tell what heresies and extremes are. The book lists out the beliefs of various heresies in details which give me a deep understanding. This book is really valuable to Christians. It helps us not only understand the fallacies of different heresies, but also recognize the malevolence of Satan. It encourages us to watch and pray so that we may not enter into temptation.

(#9743 Guangdong, response to programs on C100)

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